I've been sitting on this long enough. I've wallowed and been in denial and realized that no matter how much I pretend that this isn't the scenario or how many times I sneak a good cry in the closet, the reality doesn't change. We heard from Ukraine. And its NOT BAD. Its also not what we expected.
Tuesday morning, while Jake and I were mid-furlough discussion, naturally, I got an email from our facilitator. She informed me that no they hadn't forgotten about us (guess she picked up my "vibe" in that last email I sent), and that our contact at the SDA in Ukraine said she expects us to receive an appointment date in.......wait for it......September. Yes. September. She explained that a lot of the children in the age group we've selected (under 7) are blessed enough to be sponsored during the summer months and they either attend summer camps in different regions of the country or they are hosted by families for several weeks in the US. In order for us to meet our children, and select them, they would actually need to be present, and a lot of them aren't. She also said that a lot of the workers take all of their vacation time during summer so things at the SDA move slower (huh. Didn't realize everywhere had the Bluffton State of Mind :)). So all of that makes sense, right? When I read it the first time it read like this "blah blah blah, you're never ever ever going to meet your kids, blah blah blah, your adoption is the longest in the history of adoptions, blah blah blah, go eat something". I walked into the bedroom and kind of tossed my phone at Jake while I morphed into an ugly cry face. I fell apart. It wasn't fair. Why is ours taking SO much longer?! I've watched kids come home who's parents didn't even know they wanted to adopt when we got started.....what are we being punished for? And as Jake held me on his chest, the Holy Spirit washed over me and reminded me of this.....
You prayed for an answer. This may not be the answer that you were expecting, but God was faithful to you in answering your prayers, just as He promised. He will not forsake you.....OR your children. He has not left you. Praise Him.
And you know, that little moment has kind of started this overwhelming conviction this week....
How often, ok, how many times in each hour of every day, do I forget to remember the prayers that He has answered. Every night I pray protection over our kids. And every morning when they pounce on me and the mommy morning monster wakes up.....God answered my prayer. They woke up. I woke up. We are safe. He protected us. Every night at dinner when we pray "bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies" and we go another week as healthy, thriving individuals. He has indeed blessed our bodies. I could go on.....but really, how many days do we forget that breathing alone, is an answered prayer?
And so what are you teaching us, God? Why this delay? Why is September better for you than say, next week? I can speculate....so I will. When I first quit work it was with the intention to be at home with our kiddos and the kiddos that are coming home. And before we knew the more realistic time frame, that was totally okay. And then the answer didn't come, and we got really really really consumed by that. Consumed by the lack of an answer. And more than anything, consumed by the process of adoption. And now that I see what that consumption has done, I get it. We let our prayers, and the needing an answer to those prayers, become WAY more important than the One answering them. When the first thing I reached for in the morning is my phone to check my email, instead of my Bible to fill my cup, the balance is off. When I will complain and cry and whine that "its so haaaaaard not knowing" but I won't hit my knees and just ask already, there's a problem. I believe God gave me this time at home to bring my family back to focus. To remind us that He still reigns. Not adoption. Not Cole and Zella. Not church softball. Not church. Not what people will think (or say) when they hear there's ANOTHER delay. But God. He gave us this time to convict us. Because He knows that we are going to need Him closer than ever before in just two short months.
People will say to us, after finding out about the adoption, "well I commend you for what you're doing" "well hats off to you and your husband for what you're doing" "wow. I could never do what you're doing". And I let them say it. I allowed that one little pat on the back and that's all it took. Please don't commend us. We haven't done anything. Commend the mothers that lay in bed every night alone as their Marines fight a fight for a commander in chief that doesn't respect them. Tip your hats to me because I'm raising the kids I have now. Pat yourself on the back for raising your own kids in a crazy, messed up world. And yes, you could totally do what we're doing. Because truly, we are doing nothing. Yep. We're going to have a few more mouths to feed. Yep. I will more than likely be buying stock in Clorox wipes. I might not sleep well for several months (me and sleep don't seem to get along anyways). But what really, am I doing other than the same thing that every mother on the planet already does? Nothing. Except that I'm COMPLETELY RELYING ON GOD TO GUIDE ME. Enter conviction. We've been struggling with parenting. Our kids are in that transition phase where everything we were doing 6 months ago isn't really working all so great anymore. And we've been frustrated. There have been great, awesome days. And there have been so not at all cool days. Why is it that I am willing to completely rely on God to guide me through an adoption, and through parenting adopted children, but I'll go to Dr. Dobson when I have a wooden spoon issue instead of talking to God? Why is it that I will completely rely on God to raise $26,000.00 to bring these children home, but when the good ol' gov'ment tells me that we are losing 20% of our pay because a bunch of fogeys can't balance a checkbook, I panic, post on FB, cry a little and maybe pray AFTER all that? How come, when Jake and I argue, I'll call my sister, and not call on my FATHER? God gave us this time for a purpose. He is answering prayers that I haven't even prayed yet. He's gently grabbing us with both hands, by the cheeks, and turning our faces back in the right direction.
Does it hurt my heart to look at the Pros and Cons list of traveling in September? It does. Because I hurt for Cole and Zella. And I hurt for our two kids that hope every day for a mama and papa. Two months is eternity in kid time. And in Mama time. But in just a week of refocus our family dynamic has shifted. God is shaping us into a home that will be perfect for two new little ones. He's changing me and Jake and training us to focus on what we have.....and not what we're missing. He's reminding me that I am where He wants me, at the heart of the home. My paycheck is my family. There is no greater reward than loving them with Christ like compassion and watching them turn that same compassion out into the world. Do I fail? I sure do. But I'm covered in grace. I'm afforded "extended time lines" to get back on track.
This is our storm. It didn't come with the force of a hurricane. This is our years long rainy season. Thank you, Lord, for the rain. For never having to be thirsty. For the laughter (and sibling fights) that bounce off the toy room walls. For the ups and the downs that keep this life exciting. For all of Jake's quirks that make me love him more. Thank you, Lord, for giving us an even longer storm so that we can learn to praise you......at all times.
We'll get to Ukraine. We will push forward. For us, right now, faith means that timing is everything....and not OUR timing, but HIS timing.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
The GREAT news and What's next?.....and a little piece of this girls mind.....
So we got AMAZING news on Monday night! We are officially registered as adopting parents in Ukraine!! Hooray! (spirit fingers) We don't have an appointment date yet - but that's OK because at least now we know our seemingly endless paperwork (and paperwork correction) is over and we can wait in peace for the appointment date that will absolutely come some day soon. So that's our amazing news (keeping it short and sweet tonight, kids!).
We've had so many people ask us "ok, what's next?". Here's how it works......we will receive an appointment at the SDA in Ukraine. When we arrive at the appointment, we will be given an undisclosed number of medical records (could be 1, could be 10) of children that match our requested criteria. We said any boy or girl, or sibling set of 2, age 7 or under. We will have, along with our translator, approximately 30-45 minutes to go through the medical records and select the child/children that we would like to meet. Then we file for a "referral". The referral can usually be picked up the next day. Once we have the referral we travel to the region that the childrens' orphanage is in. For regions think of it like counties.We will meet the child/children and determine whether or not these are in fact "our kids". If we have any concerns, or if for any reason we have to deny the first children we select to meet, we go back to the SDA and start again with medical records, etc. You are only allowed to do this 3 times. HOWEVER, we have faith that God will reveal our children to us immediately. Once we decide to proceed with adopting certain children, the paperwork starts, a court date is requested. Once a judge determines that we are fit to adopt the child/children, there is a mandatory 10 day wait period before we are allowed to sign the kids out of the orphanage (cause you know, they haven't been there long enough). After the 10 day wait, we check the kids out and head back to Kyiv for Visas, Passports, medical exit exams, etc. The total trip will probably be about 5 weeks.
In March, we went to a prayer night for the adoption ministry at our church. One of our incredible prayer warriors was praying for us and prayed for Jake to receive a sign about our children....if it's one or two, gender, a face, even a shirt color so that when we see the pictures, we are 100% sure that those are the children God chose for us. That was on a Monday night. The next day Jake completely surprised me with a new mini van. It came with two sets of headphones as part of the package. He went out to the van to grab the headphones and he came back inside laughing and shaking his head. When he went out to get the headphones, there weren't two sets, there were 4. We don't believe that there is such a thing as a "coincidence" with God. There is direct purpose in everything, we just have to be looking for it. We wholeheartedly believe that we are coming home with two children. Please pray with us during this time that God will reveal the file to us that He intends for us choose, clearly, without question. 45 mins. is NOT a lot of time to choose children.....we are trusting that He will use the time wisely and direct our eyes to the correct one.
Having said all of that, I need to say a little more.......
I took Cole to the doctor today for a check up and was talking to the doctor just about how I am a little concerned about how the emotional changes will effect Cole after the adoption. She isn't the pediatrician that we normally see so she wasn't aware that we are adopting. She's a mother and she's a pediatrician so I guess I just wasn't expecting her reaction. She asked a few questions and I explained the process just as I did above.......and her response "but even with the medical records, there are so many psychiatric issues that you might not know about it. I don't know, that's just a big risk to take." You can insert a lot of things right here that you might think went through my head.....none of your ideas are probably strong enough for what actually ran through my brain. But my response was this "it's just like having a baby. There is no promise of perfect health. But that's your child, so you just do what you have to do and you make it work." That's all I had to offer her in that moment....but its what I TRULY believe. Is it going to be hard? Yup. Does every single little tiny part of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome suck? Absolutely. Is there a gigantic risk that our children will have FAS or detachment disorders? There sure is. Does that change anything? Not a chance.
Yes. It is a huge risk. If it was easy, I wouldn't need God. If it was easy, everybody would be doing it and there wouldn't be an orphan crisis. If it wasn't a risk, I wouldn't be terrified of what I'm walking into, and I wouldn't be 100% reliant on God for the strength to walk it out. We aren't patting ourselves on the back here. There are days when Jake and I look at each other and say "we are surely crazy". Jake said it best the other night when he said "I'm just a guy that's following instructions." And that's it. We're just a family that said "yes". When we first started talking about adoption Cole said, "let's bring an orphan to our house. They can sleep in my bed." ITS THAT SIMPLE. Give them what they don't have. Where is the risk in that? Where's the risk in obedience? Where's the risk in looking at a child with no self worth and telling them, "you are a gift from the Lord! You are a heritage! A reward!" In this house, the risk is big, but the reward is a million times bigger.
So for everyone that looks at the risk, before you look at the yield and the gains, you have it all wrong. It took us years and years and to see it like this but the risk, no matter how big, is always on the smaller side of the equation.
We don't have any idea what God is about to give us. If you think we're crazy, its ok. Cause we think we are too! But we know, and we trust, that through this journey God has been equipping us, because we are called. So bring it on, Kubnick Kiddos! Daddy and Mama have a Bible (and a Ukrainian translation app) and a whole army of prayer warriors standing behind us, there isn't anything we can't make it through.
The next time I post, we'll be making travel plans.....ITS FINALLY HAPPENING!
We've had so many people ask us "ok, what's next?". Here's how it works......we will receive an appointment at the SDA in Ukraine. When we arrive at the appointment, we will be given an undisclosed number of medical records (could be 1, could be 10) of children that match our requested criteria. We said any boy or girl, or sibling set of 2, age 7 or under. We will have, along with our translator, approximately 30-45 minutes to go through the medical records and select the child/children that we would like to meet. Then we file for a "referral". The referral can usually be picked up the next day. Once we have the referral we travel to the region that the childrens' orphanage is in. For regions think of it like counties.We will meet the child/children and determine whether or not these are in fact "our kids". If we have any concerns, or if for any reason we have to deny the first children we select to meet, we go back to the SDA and start again with medical records, etc. You are only allowed to do this 3 times. HOWEVER, we have faith that God will reveal our children to us immediately. Once we decide to proceed with adopting certain children, the paperwork starts, a court date is requested. Once a judge determines that we are fit to adopt the child/children, there is a mandatory 10 day wait period before we are allowed to sign the kids out of the orphanage (cause you know, they haven't been there long enough). After the 10 day wait, we check the kids out and head back to Kyiv for Visas, Passports, medical exit exams, etc. The total trip will probably be about 5 weeks.
In March, we went to a prayer night for the adoption ministry at our church. One of our incredible prayer warriors was praying for us and prayed for Jake to receive a sign about our children....if it's one or two, gender, a face, even a shirt color so that when we see the pictures, we are 100% sure that those are the children God chose for us. That was on a Monday night. The next day Jake completely surprised me with a new mini van. It came with two sets of headphones as part of the package. He went out to the van to grab the headphones and he came back inside laughing and shaking his head. When he went out to get the headphones, there weren't two sets, there were 4. We don't believe that there is such a thing as a "coincidence" with God. There is direct purpose in everything, we just have to be looking for it. We wholeheartedly believe that we are coming home with two children. Please pray with us during this time that God will reveal the file to us that He intends for us choose, clearly, without question. 45 mins. is NOT a lot of time to choose children.....we are trusting that He will use the time wisely and direct our eyes to the correct one.
Having said all of that, I need to say a little more.......
I took Cole to the doctor today for a check up and was talking to the doctor just about how I am a little concerned about how the emotional changes will effect Cole after the adoption. She isn't the pediatrician that we normally see so she wasn't aware that we are adopting. She's a mother and she's a pediatrician so I guess I just wasn't expecting her reaction. She asked a few questions and I explained the process just as I did above.......and her response "but even with the medical records, there are so many psychiatric issues that you might not know about it. I don't know, that's just a big risk to take." You can insert a lot of things right here that you might think went through my head.....none of your ideas are probably strong enough for what actually ran through my brain. But my response was this "it's just like having a baby. There is no promise of perfect health. But that's your child, so you just do what you have to do and you make it work." That's all I had to offer her in that moment....but its what I TRULY believe. Is it going to be hard? Yup. Does every single little tiny part of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome suck? Absolutely. Is there a gigantic risk that our children will have FAS or detachment disorders? There sure is. Does that change anything? Not a chance.
Yes. It is a huge risk. If it was easy, I wouldn't need God. If it was easy, everybody would be doing it and there wouldn't be an orphan crisis. If it wasn't a risk, I wouldn't be terrified of what I'm walking into, and I wouldn't be 100% reliant on God for the strength to walk it out. We aren't patting ourselves on the back here. There are days when Jake and I look at each other and say "we are surely crazy". Jake said it best the other night when he said "I'm just a guy that's following instructions." And that's it. We're just a family that said "yes". When we first started talking about adoption Cole said, "let's bring an orphan to our house. They can sleep in my bed." ITS THAT SIMPLE. Give them what they don't have. Where is the risk in that? Where's the risk in obedience? Where's the risk in looking at a child with no self worth and telling them, "you are a gift from the Lord! You are a heritage! A reward!" In this house, the risk is big, but the reward is a million times bigger.
So for everyone that looks at the risk, before you look at the yield and the gains, you have it all wrong. It took us years and years and to see it like this but the risk, no matter how big, is always on the smaller side of the equation.
We don't have any idea what God is about to give us. If you think we're crazy, its ok. Cause we think we are too! But we know, and we trust, that through this journey God has been equipping us, because we are called. So bring it on, Kubnick Kiddos! Daddy and Mama have a Bible (and a Ukrainian translation app) and a whole army of prayer warriors standing behind us, there isn't anything we can't make it through.
The next time I post, we'll be making travel plans.....ITS FINALLY HAPPENING!
Thursday, May 16, 2013
SAHM Status
For all of our friends that don't know, I am officially a Stay At Home Mom now. This is the second full week that I've been at home and while I literally ached for this for so very long, this transition hasn't been as seamless as I had imagined it would be.
When Jake and I first started talking about adoption (1 year ago), we agreed that I would be at home with the kids. No more J.O.B. We ALSO assumed (we all know what happens when you assume!) that we would be living in Atlanta now. If you're counting with us, Jake officially got hired at Atlanta Center with the FAA in November, 2011. Atlanta = higher pay = less stress when I quit work. BUT, God has a different plan.
The FAA is, well, a government agency. Nuff said.....and our little family business that I worked at for 8 years, that started in the 60's, sold to a bigger company. It wasn't time for Jake in Atlanta yet......and it was definitely time for me to be at home. I prayed.....and prayed.....and prayed. And in true "God" fashion, He laid it on both of our hearts, more Jakes than mine (suprisingly) that my last day at work would be April 30. And here we are.
The first week was hard. It was bittersweet. This isn't how this SAHM mom thing was supposed to pan out. I'm supposed to have little Ukrainians to teach English and how to wipe front to back and not back to front. I'm supposed to be doing laundry for 6 instead of laundry for 4. This isn't how it was "suuposed" to be. And so what happens when we allow ourselves to wallow? The devil sticks his foot in the door.......
So for me, his foot stood directly on top of my insecurities. My weight. My regret. My paycheck that I'm not getting anymore. My uncertainty in my parenting skills. Insert your insecurity here.....and the devil planted it in my head that first week. Its been a LONG time since I took care of me. I always had a GREAT reason to avoid it. I don't have work to hide behind anymore. And that's a hard thing to face. And I truly believe that God gave me this time to work on me.....because God wants my husband to have the hots for me and because my children NEED a Mommy that takes care of herself (cause Mommys that take care of themselves have increased sanity).
I posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that God knew just what He was doing when He put Jake in my life......for so many reasons. And that week, when I was rolling around in not liking myself, I was reminded of Gods perfect placement of this wonderful man in my life. He GENTLY asked me if I wanted to come to the gym with him and when I denied him.....he waited a few days and kept asking. Until I said yes. And two weeks later we've been going to the gym together a few times a week......and he has been supportive and encouraging and loving and EXCITED that I'm there at the gym with him. And we NEEDED this.
And I was driving home this afternoon from an awesome "back day" at the gym and chuckling at God. God who knew that while it might hurt us to delay us again, our marriage needed some healing. God who knew that my self esteem couldn't handle the stress of an international adoption, and that I needed some time to "get it together". God who knew that my precious Cole and Zella needed a Mommy to take them to the pool on Saturday instead of dragging them to the grocery store because Saturday is the only day I'm able to do it. God who knew that our hearts would break when Ukraine said "no", also knew that He would use this time, this heart break, to make us stronger. To teach us perseverance. To grow our family closer than we've ever been.....because we are all now where we need to be. God who uses ALL things to work for the good of those who love Him, has not forgotten us. He has a plan. It will prosper us. It will not harm us. It is a plan of hope and a future.
We aren't where we thought we would be this month. And its ok. Because where we are is far better than what we planned for. Funny how God works things out like that ;)
When Jake and I first started talking about adoption (1 year ago), we agreed that I would be at home with the kids. No more J.O.B. We ALSO assumed (we all know what happens when you assume!) that we would be living in Atlanta now. If you're counting with us, Jake officially got hired at Atlanta Center with the FAA in November, 2011. Atlanta = higher pay = less stress when I quit work. BUT, God has a different plan.
The FAA is, well, a government agency. Nuff said.....and our little family business that I worked at for 8 years, that started in the 60's, sold to a bigger company. It wasn't time for Jake in Atlanta yet......and it was definitely time for me to be at home. I prayed.....and prayed.....and prayed. And in true "God" fashion, He laid it on both of our hearts, more Jakes than mine (suprisingly) that my last day at work would be April 30. And here we are.
The first week was hard. It was bittersweet. This isn't how this SAHM mom thing was supposed to pan out. I'm supposed to have little Ukrainians to teach English and how to wipe front to back and not back to front. I'm supposed to be doing laundry for 6 instead of laundry for 4. This isn't how it was "suuposed" to be. And so what happens when we allow ourselves to wallow? The devil sticks his foot in the door.......
So for me, his foot stood directly on top of my insecurities. My weight. My regret. My paycheck that I'm not getting anymore. My uncertainty in my parenting skills. Insert your insecurity here.....and the devil planted it in my head that first week. Its been a LONG time since I took care of me. I always had a GREAT reason to avoid it. I don't have work to hide behind anymore. And that's a hard thing to face. And I truly believe that God gave me this time to work on me.....because God wants my husband to have the hots for me and because my children NEED a Mommy that takes care of herself (cause Mommys that take care of themselves have increased sanity).
I posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that God knew just what He was doing when He put Jake in my life......for so many reasons. And that week, when I was rolling around in not liking myself, I was reminded of Gods perfect placement of this wonderful man in my life. He GENTLY asked me if I wanted to come to the gym with him and when I denied him.....he waited a few days and kept asking. Until I said yes. And two weeks later we've been going to the gym together a few times a week......and he has been supportive and encouraging and loving and EXCITED that I'm there at the gym with him. And we NEEDED this.
And I was driving home this afternoon from an awesome "back day" at the gym and chuckling at God. God who knew that while it might hurt us to delay us again, our marriage needed some healing. God who knew that my self esteem couldn't handle the stress of an international adoption, and that I needed some time to "get it together". God who knew that my precious Cole and Zella needed a Mommy to take them to the pool on Saturday instead of dragging them to the grocery store because Saturday is the only day I'm able to do it. God who knew that our hearts would break when Ukraine said "no", also knew that He would use this time, this heart break, to make us stronger. To teach us perseverance. To grow our family closer than we've ever been.....because we are all now where we need to be. God who uses ALL things to work for the good of those who love Him, has not forgotten us. He has a plan. It will prosper us. It will not harm us. It is a plan of hope and a future.
We aren't where we thought we would be this month. And its ok. Because where we are is far better than what we planned for. Funny how God works things out like that ;)
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Mothering
I had this other crazy long blog post and I read it back to myself and started to fall asleep. So, you're welcome for deleting that one! Today was one of those days that means more than it was supposed to....I felt the need to share the surface parts.
I'm blessed. There's no doubt ever in my mind about that...mostly because if I'm thinking, then I'm breathing and if I'm breathing, I'm alive so there it is - blessed! But truly....I have my soul mate walking with me every day. We aren't perfect. Ever. We fight. We struggle. We triumph. We have two BEAUTIFUL children. Have you seen these kids?! I'm biased. They are healthy and they are happy and they are full of life. We have food. We have shelter. We have family and friends. That's all we need. BLESSED.
My man got up at 5am to get me fresh flowers and coffee and donuts from Dunkin Donuts. My day could have totally stopped at the coffee and donuts and we would have been fine. BUT, then I opened the mani/pedi and it got WAY better! Then Cole came hustling downstairs, straight to the bookbag (that I was forbidden to touch this weekend) to pull out his hand made card that's covered in adjectives that he feels best describe me. Ear to ear grin on his face, he handed me the card and grabbed me by both cheeks to plant a kiss on my lips. THEN, from the top of the stairs we hear, "Good morniiiiiiiinnnnnggg!!!" from Zella. She said "is it muvers day?" and then she ran to the table to give me the gift she made - a hand painted picture frame magnet with her face in it. I love my kids. Reality show mothering.
About an hour after this magical spectacle, Cole was dressed and banished to his bedroom for lying about destroying one of Zellas toys. Huff. And I had cried twice already because well, on paper, I should have been a mother to two more kids by now. My baby fever is out of control (I believe in Natural Family Planning - so sue me!) and a couple of documents that weren't stapled properly are keeping us from Ukraine. And my dress enhanced the jiggle of my thighs every time I took a step......and then I got deodorant on the dress. And then toothpaste. LOL. All I could think was "just get us all in the car and we'll be ok". Survival mothering.
This morning, on our way to church, I spent 30 minutes "mothering". Not the glamorous kind where Mom sits in the front seat sipping her coffee and holding hands with hubby while the kids count clouds out the mini van window. No. The not glamorous kind. The kind where tissues are being passed because a very upset 7 year old little boy has just found the right words to tell us that he's worried that when we adopt, we won't love him the same anymore. (sound of moms heart shattering). And that the more kids there are, the less attention he will get. The kind of mothering where your heart breaks.....because its your fault.
Sitting in church this morning we watched a video of our sweet friend that has walked through this adoption journey with us, while on her own adoption journey. She's been home for a couple of weeks with her two boys and at the end of the video she says "this isn't my first Mothers day. This Mothers Day isn't about me. This Mothers Day is about the boys. Because its the first Mothers Day, that they have had a mother." Insert sobbing from me, in the 4th row back. The kind of mothering where there is a literal void without them.
This afternoon we got home from church and got the kids lunch and Jake had to go to work. FYI - anyone that thinks that air traffic controllers make too much money, you come talk to me or any other ATC wife about the missed holidays, events, birthdays, etc. We would gladly take less money for our husbands. Zella laid down for a nap and Cole wanted to help me wash the car. And I wanted a nap. And some quiet time. And I laid there and thought about what Cole had said in the car on the way to church. And I got out of bed and put on my car washing clothes and we soaped her up and hosed her down real good. Mothering isn't about "mom".
And then Zella didn't take a nap after all. And at 3pm on a Sunday that's sunny, the answer to needing to wear kids out is the pool. But I was tired. And worn out. And had a lot of carbs so I was a little puffy in the mid section and in my 12 year old girl mind I was stomping my feet and saying "I don't wannnnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaa". But instead, I put on my suit, packed the kids up and swimming we went. Mothering is a choice.
And so after the kiddies were in bed and I was reading all these wonderful FB posts about husbands cooking dinner and kids cleaning houses and perfect Southern Living-esque Mothers Days, I laughed at the irony of today.
Today, on Mothers Day, when everything is supposed to be perfect and rosey, I mothered. I didn't have a perfect day. There was crying and discipline and tantrums over food and a tick (relax, on the dog)...........and there were tears of joy, beaming toothy grins, big wet kiddie kisses, Zella bear hugs, Dunkin Donuts coffee and kisses on the forehead. Today was hard. Today was worth it. Every day is hard. And every day is worth it. And that's just being a mother.
Happy Mothers Day!
I'm blessed. There's no doubt ever in my mind about that...mostly because if I'm thinking, then I'm breathing and if I'm breathing, I'm alive so there it is - blessed! But truly....I have my soul mate walking with me every day. We aren't perfect. Ever. We fight. We struggle. We triumph. We have two BEAUTIFUL children. Have you seen these kids?! I'm biased. They are healthy and they are happy and they are full of life. We have food. We have shelter. We have family and friends. That's all we need. BLESSED.
My man got up at 5am to get me fresh flowers and coffee and donuts from Dunkin Donuts. My day could have totally stopped at the coffee and donuts and we would have been fine. BUT, then I opened the mani/pedi and it got WAY better! Then Cole came hustling downstairs, straight to the bookbag (that I was forbidden to touch this weekend) to pull out his hand made card that's covered in adjectives that he feels best describe me. Ear to ear grin on his face, he handed me the card and grabbed me by both cheeks to plant a kiss on my lips. THEN, from the top of the stairs we hear, "Good morniiiiiiiinnnnnggg!!!" from Zella. She said "is it muvers day?" and then she ran to the table to give me the gift she made - a hand painted picture frame magnet with her face in it. I love my kids. Reality show mothering.
About an hour after this magical spectacle, Cole was dressed and banished to his bedroom for lying about destroying one of Zellas toys. Huff. And I had cried twice already because well, on paper, I should have been a mother to two more kids by now. My baby fever is out of control (I believe in Natural Family Planning - so sue me!) and a couple of documents that weren't stapled properly are keeping us from Ukraine. And my dress enhanced the jiggle of my thighs every time I took a step......and then I got deodorant on the dress. And then toothpaste. LOL. All I could think was "just get us all in the car and we'll be ok". Survival mothering.
This morning, on our way to church, I spent 30 minutes "mothering". Not the glamorous kind where Mom sits in the front seat sipping her coffee and holding hands with hubby while the kids count clouds out the mini van window. No. The not glamorous kind. The kind where tissues are being passed because a very upset 7 year old little boy has just found the right words to tell us that he's worried that when we adopt, we won't love him the same anymore. (sound of moms heart shattering). And that the more kids there are, the less attention he will get. The kind of mothering where your heart breaks.....because its your fault.
Sitting in church this morning we watched a video of our sweet friend that has walked through this adoption journey with us, while on her own adoption journey. She's been home for a couple of weeks with her two boys and at the end of the video she says "this isn't my first Mothers day. This Mothers Day isn't about me. This Mothers Day is about the boys. Because its the first Mothers Day, that they have had a mother." Insert sobbing from me, in the 4th row back. The kind of mothering where there is a literal void without them.
This afternoon we got home from church and got the kids lunch and Jake had to go to work. FYI - anyone that thinks that air traffic controllers make too much money, you come talk to me or any other ATC wife about the missed holidays, events, birthdays, etc. We would gladly take less money for our husbands. Zella laid down for a nap and Cole wanted to help me wash the car. And I wanted a nap. And some quiet time. And I laid there and thought about what Cole had said in the car on the way to church. And I got out of bed and put on my car washing clothes and we soaped her up and hosed her down real good. Mothering isn't about "mom".
And then Zella didn't take a nap after all. And at 3pm on a Sunday that's sunny, the answer to needing to wear kids out is the pool. But I was tired. And worn out. And had a lot of carbs so I was a little puffy in the mid section and in my 12 year old girl mind I was stomping my feet and saying "I don't wannnnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaa". But instead, I put on my suit, packed the kids up and swimming we went. Mothering is a choice.
And so after the kiddies were in bed and I was reading all these wonderful FB posts about husbands cooking dinner and kids cleaning houses and perfect Southern Living-esque Mothers Days, I laughed at the irony of today.
Today, on Mothers Day, when everything is supposed to be perfect and rosey, I mothered. I didn't have a perfect day. There was crying and discipline and tantrums over food and a tick (relax, on the dog)...........and there were tears of joy, beaming toothy grins, big wet kiddie kisses, Zella bear hugs, Dunkin Donuts coffee and kisses on the forehead. Today was hard. Today was worth it. Every day is hard. And every day is worth it. And that's just being a mother.
Happy Mothers Day!
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
The word from Ukraine.....
Just in case anybody is counting, today is business day 27. There are a lot of things in this emotion/thought jumbled head of mine that I question, my mothers intuition is not one of them. And when we hit business day 20 (their deadline by law) and still had heard nothing, my heart knew.
Still the waiting was close to unbearable. Satan closed in our family and started attacking. The storm of waiting collided with a storm of fighting and yesterday morning Jake and I both found ourselves sinking, bobbing up and down for air and flailing our hands from the top of the waves and crying out "help! save me!". "Oh, my God, He will not delay. My refuge and strength always. I will not fear, His promise is true. My God will come through, always, always." And so so so often, God comes through in ways that we never anticipated.
Last night I picked the kids up from school and Jake headed to church for prayer. He was sitting outside the church waiting for prayer to start and his phone rang and on the other end I spoke "I just got an email from Julia. Our dossier did not get accepted. We have to change some things and try again." Disappointment. Heartbreak. Shock. Defeat. Confusion. All from an email. I told Jake to go inside and pray. That at the altar was exactly where he needed to be in that moment. He wanted to be alone. He wanted to grieve in peace. And God ushered him into the church. And this is what Jake told me last night when he got home..........."A year ago, getting this news, I would have been angry and vengeful. I would have wanted to hurt someone. Tonight, the hardest thing I've ever had to do was walk into prayer and give God praise, even while my heart is breaking. And I did it. For the first time. And I see His purpose in all of this. Because this is where He wants me." There is no way I could have said that better. THIS IS WHERE HE WANTS US.
Jake told me that last night at prayer a friend of ours began to pray for him. I'm crying just typing this. This friend was adopted from Russia as a child. Every time I look at him, I see our son in 15 years. So last night, he placed his hand on Jakes chest, and sobbing, prayed for Jake and for our family, and for our children in Ukraine. And Jake said he realized, this is our "why". Because God loves orphans. Because He calls us to free them from the chains of oppression and give them the light of Jesus.....SO THAT THEY CAN GO OUT AND SHINE THE LIGHT. How can we NOT press on? How can we, in our minimal amount of emotional distress, think that our hurt is greater than giving a child a home, love and JESUS?! We will press on.
Last night, in the hurt, God came through for us. Yesterday was the pinnacle of the fight against the attack for us. We were drowning in anxiety and bad attitudes and fear and God yesterday said "Here is your answer.....HERE I AM." Our prayer requests had become bigger to us than the ONE that answers our prayers. I don't believe we are being punished. I believe that God is redirecting us, with the purpose of perfecting us.
We talked and prayed and cried. Yes, our hearts hurt. This is ANOTHER delay. We have to wait even LONGER. And its ok. And its ok because what is the option? Is the option to be angry and in spite of Ukraines crazy particular paperwork requirements to turn our heads and say "fine! We'll go to a different country!"? Or is the option to say this is too much, lets just quit? No. None of those are options for the called. The option for us is to "keep rowing". Just as the disciples did when Jesus was praying for them as the storm raged. They kept rowing.
When God called us to run this race, He didn't specify if we would need our FloJo cleats or our Forrest Gump tennies....He just said lace 'em up and go, and I will take care of the rest. We're on mile 26.2. This is the part of the marathon where we finish the race with a triumphant spirit, because LOOK HOW FAR WE'VE COME!
There will be a day when all of these pieces fit. There will be a day when the neighbors three houses down will be able to hear the Kubnick children laughing and playing because our house will be overflowing. There will be a day when God calls us home and the wait and the pain all makes sense. And on that day we will be able to say, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race. I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4:7
Pressing on. Ukraine or bust!
Still the waiting was close to unbearable. Satan closed in our family and started attacking. The storm of waiting collided with a storm of fighting and yesterday morning Jake and I both found ourselves sinking, bobbing up and down for air and flailing our hands from the top of the waves and crying out "help! save me!". "Oh, my God, He will not delay. My refuge and strength always. I will not fear, His promise is true. My God will come through, always, always." And so so so often, God comes through in ways that we never anticipated.
Last night I picked the kids up from school and Jake headed to church for prayer. He was sitting outside the church waiting for prayer to start and his phone rang and on the other end I spoke "I just got an email from Julia. Our dossier did not get accepted. We have to change some things and try again." Disappointment. Heartbreak. Shock. Defeat. Confusion. All from an email. I told Jake to go inside and pray. That at the altar was exactly where he needed to be in that moment. He wanted to be alone. He wanted to grieve in peace. And God ushered him into the church. And this is what Jake told me last night when he got home..........."A year ago, getting this news, I would have been angry and vengeful. I would have wanted to hurt someone. Tonight, the hardest thing I've ever had to do was walk into prayer and give God praise, even while my heart is breaking. And I did it. For the first time. And I see His purpose in all of this. Because this is where He wants me." There is no way I could have said that better. THIS IS WHERE HE WANTS US.
Jake told me that last night at prayer a friend of ours began to pray for him. I'm crying just typing this. This friend was adopted from Russia as a child. Every time I look at him, I see our son in 15 years. So last night, he placed his hand on Jakes chest, and sobbing, prayed for Jake and for our family, and for our children in Ukraine. And Jake said he realized, this is our "why". Because God loves orphans. Because He calls us to free them from the chains of oppression and give them the light of Jesus.....SO THAT THEY CAN GO OUT AND SHINE THE LIGHT. How can we NOT press on? How can we, in our minimal amount of emotional distress, think that our hurt is greater than giving a child a home, love and JESUS?! We will press on.
Last night, in the hurt, God came through for us. Yesterday was the pinnacle of the fight against the attack for us. We were drowning in anxiety and bad attitudes and fear and God yesterday said "Here is your answer.....HERE I AM." Our prayer requests had become bigger to us than the ONE that answers our prayers. I don't believe we are being punished. I believe that God is redirecting us, with the purpose of perfecting us.
We talked and prayed and cried. Yes, our hearts hurt. This is ANOTHER delay. We have to wait even LONGER. And its ok. And its ok because what is the option? Is the option to be angry and in spite of Ukraines crazy particular paperwork requirements to turn our heads and say "fine! We'll go to a different country!"? Or is the option to say this is too much, lets just quit? No. None of those are options for the called. The option for us is to "keep rowing". Just as the disciples did when Jesus was praying for them as the storm raged. They kept rowing.
When God called us to run this race, He didn't specify if we would need our FloJo cleats or our Forrest Gump tennies....He just said lace 'em up and go, and I will take care of the rest. We're on mile 26.2. This is the part of the marathon where we finish the race with a triumphant spirit, because LOOK HOW FAR WE'VE COME!
There will be a day when all of these pieces fit. There will be a day when the neighbors three houses down will be able to hear the Kubnick children laughing and playing because our house will be overflowing. There will be a day when God calls us home and the wait and the pain all makes sense. And on that day we will be able to say, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race. I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4:7
Pressing on. Ukraine or bust!
Monday, April 15, 2013
While we're waiting......
First off, a little nugget of completely useless information for you.....the Christian singer/song writer John Waller sings this awesome song called "While I'm Waiting". The song talks about serving, praising and praying while waiting on the Lord to complete His work. In February of this year, John and his family completed a Ukrainian adoption of siblings......when he sings this song, I know - he TOTALLY gets what it means to wait. Bet you feel smarter now.
So the waiting.....the waiting has NOT at all been easy. We've been waiting for what feels like an eternity to get to Ukraine. On March 22, our dossier was officially submitted to the SDA in Ukraine for review. The next step is they give us an appointment date......and then we go! In the meantime, Jake and I have been worked, HARD, by the devil and God. We have both literally felt like cartoon characters with a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. And through this time, while we are waiting, we have been reminded of so many things.....and I thought that maybe, as you walk through your day, or your storm, that maybe you need a few reminders too.
1. NOTHING is wasted by God. There isn't a single tear, or laugh, or cry, that He doesn't cherish and intend to use. Feeling sorry for yourself because of the way you grew up or because your dad left or your mom is insensitive or because you're the black sheep? He wants to use it. He wants to show you that when He says He has a plan.......He has a plan. He wants you to see that for those that love Him, ALL things are being worked together for your good. If you know me and Jake, and any part of either of our stories, we are walking and breathing examples of His undying, full of grace, relentless, pursuing, rescuing, freeing, chain breaking, merciful, breathtaking, blood soaked love for us. And now that we can see how only a few of the pieces fit together......we can see only the part of Gods plan that has already passed, He has proved to us that His plan is ALWAYS better. Know that wherever you are today, He wants to use it. Stop wallowing. Ask God to show you how to turn your suffering into an offering. And then be ready.....He WILL use you, if you say "yes".
2. God fully intends to stretch us. Waiting is hard, yes. And its necessary. If we had completed our adoption process in 6 months, this blog right now would be begging for someone to come rescue me from these kids that I can't control. Asking God to bring us closer to Him requires change...and it requires a casting off of things that are old. And that is super painful. I was reminded last night of this comment "a large majority of the issues that we have with our kids, stems from our own selfishness." The Refiners fire is HOT. But this waiting period has been stuffed full of conviction for us. FULL OF CONVICTION. Like, the kind where you don't wanna get out of bed because your heart is tired from working so hard. Every day God is revealing situations or relationships, attitudes or tones of voice, habits or lack of habits to both of us. It can feel overwhelming and the devil will sit on your shoulder and say "what kind of Father would repeatedly show you what you're doing wrong? He doesn't love you!" and because DARKNESS WILL ALWAYS LOSE OUT TO LIGHT, I am reminded by the angel on the other shoulder......"This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord, 'Go down to the potters house, and there I will give you my message'. So I went down to the potters house and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred from his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. Then the word of the Lord came to me. He said 'can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?' declares the Lord. 'Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand'." Jeremiah 18:1-6 We are clay in the same hands that shaped the universe, formed the stars and counted the hairs on our heads. Stretch us. Convict us. Mold us. While we are waiting.....prepare us.
3. This morning, my baby girl didn't want to go to daycare. Kids can sense stuff. She knows change is coming. So does Cole. They really have no concept of time.....but in their little hearts, God is preparing them, just as He is preparing us. And as I was driving to work this morning with the sounds of Zellas cries for me haunting me.....I felt like God was saying to me "ENJOY the wait. BE STILL. I have given you this time to revel in your family now. You will never again be a family of 4. Stop. Hold your kids. Stop always anticipating tomorrow, and just be thankful for the nothingness of today." We've been CRAZY busy for a year. A year. God knows what we need. He knows we need time. He knows we need to breathe Him in before we can truly breathe Him out. If we can't sit still at His feet, and bask in everything that He is offering us, can we really bring our children, broken and hurting, to a place where they too will be able to truly rest in His promises? No. We can't. We are just ambassadors. We are just vessels. We are facilitators to the healing that our Ukrainian children will have to go through and assistants for the struggles that Cole and Zella will endure as a result of this adoption. We know, that the healing will come from the Great Physician. We know that He will infiltrate their lives just as He has ours........but we have to show them. God has offered us this time of waiting and rest, to prepare our hearts for SHOWING these children what it means to love Jesus. And we show them by trusting His every single promise. He will restore. He knows every need. His love is more vast than our minds can process. He mends the broken hearted. He breaks the chains. He heals. He comforts. We have to believe it before they will be able to see it. So for now, while we're waiting.....we rest in Him.
This got kind of long......I could go on for a few more hours about the lessons God is teaching us every day. The three above are just from the last 24 hours!
But here's the deal......it's coming. A travel date is coming soon. My prayer is that my next update will read ....... "Ukraine or Bust!"
Happy Monday!
So the waiting.....the waiting has NOT at all been easy. We've been waiting for what feels like an eternity to get to Ukraine. On March 22, our dossier was officially submitted to the SDA in Ukraine for review. The next step is they give us an appointment date......and then we go! In the meantime, Jake and I have been worked, HARD, by the devil and God. We have both literally felt like cartoon characters with a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. And through this time, while we are waiting, we have been reminded of so many things.....and I thought that maybe, as you walk through your day, or your storm, that maybe you need a few reminders too.
1. NOTHING is wasted by God. There isn't a single tear, or laugh, or cry, that He doesn't cherish and intend to use. Feeling sorry for yourself because of the way you grew up or because your dad left or your mom is insensitive or because you're the black sheep? He wants to use it. He wants to show you that when He says He has a plan.......He has a plan. He wants you to see that for those that love Him, ALL things are being worked together for your good. If you know me and Jake, and any part of either of our stories, we are walking and breathing examples of His undying, full of grace, relentless, pursuing, rescuing, freeing, chain breaking, merciful, breathtaking, blood soaked love for us. And now that we can see how only a few of the pieces fit together......we can see only the part of Gods plan that has already passed, He has proved to us that His plan is ALWAYS better. Know that wherever you are today, He wants to use it. Stop wallowing. Ask God to show you how to turn your suffering into an offering. And then be ready.....He WILL use you, if you say "yes".
2. God fully intends to stretch us. Waiting is hard, yes. And its necessary. If we had completed our adoption process in 6 months, this blog right now would be begging for someone to come rescue me from these kids that I can't control. Asking God to bring us closer to Him requires change...and it requires a casting off of things that are old. And that is super painful. I was reminded last night of this comment "a large majority of the issues that we have with our kids, stems from our own selfishness." The Refiners fire is HOT. But this waiting period has been stuffed full of conviction for us. FULL OF CONVICTION. Like, the kind where you don't wanna get out of bed because your heart is tired from working so hard. Every day God is revealing situations or relationships, attitudes or tones of voice, habits or lack of habits to both of us. It can feel overwhelming and the devil will sit on your shoulder and say "what kind of Father would repeatedly show you what you're doing wrong? He doesn't love you!" and because DARKNESS WILL ALWAYS LOSE OUT TO LIGHT, I am reminded by the angel on the other shoulder......"This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord, 'Go down to the potters house, and there I will give you my message'. So I went down to the potters house and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred from his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. Then the word of the Lord came to me. He said 'can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?' declares the Lord. 'Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand'." Jeremiah 18:1-6 We are clay in the same hands that shaped the universe, formed the stars and counted the hairs on our heads. Stretch us. Convict us. Mold us. While we are waiting.....prepare us.
3. This morning, my baby girl didn't want to go to daycare. Kids can sense stuff. She knows change is coming. So does Cole. They really have no concept of time.....but in their little hearts, God is preparing them, just as He is preparing us. And as I was driving to work this morning with the sounds of Zellas cries for me haunting me.....I felt like God was saying to me "ENJOY the wait. BE STILL. I have given you this time to revel in your family now. You will never again be a family of 4. Stop. Hold your kids. Stop always anticipating tomorrow, and just be thankful for the nothingness of today." We've been CRAZY busy for a year. A year. God knows what we need. He knows we need time. He knows we need to breathe Him in before we can truly breathe Him out. If we can't sit still at His feet, and bask in everything that He is offering us, can we really bring our children, broken and hurting, to a place where they too will be able to truly rest in His promises? No. We can't. We are just ambassadors. We are just vessels. We are facilitators to the healing that our Ukrainian children will have to go through and assistants for the struggles that Cole and Zella will endure as a result of this adoption. We know, that the healing will come from the Great Physician. We know that He will infiltrate their lives just as He has ours........but we have to show them. God has offered us this time of waiting and rest, to prepare our hearts for SHOWING these children what it means to love Jesus. And we show them by trusting His every single promise. He will restore. He knows every need. His love is more vast than our minds can process. He mends the broken hearted. He breaks the chains. He heals. He comforts. We have to believe it before they will be able to see it. So for now, while we're waiting.....we rest in Him.
This got kind of long......I could go on for a few more hours about the lessons God is teaching us every day. The three above are just from the last 24 hours!
But here's the deal......it's coming. A travel date is coming soon. My prayer is that my next update will read ....... "Ukraine or Bust!"
Happy Monday!
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Breaking thermometers.......
I have been waiting to write this post since about May of 2012. When God first called us to this journey of adoption, the numbers sitting in front of us were nothing short of daunting. When God pointed us toward Ukraine, we were relieved to find that the fees would be less than some other countries in world. At the beginning of this process........there was a whole lot of "we".
And through the journey, God has broken those thoughts of "we are relieved to find that the fees would be less" down into "if I call you, I will provide". He has been faithful to His promises. There are about 30 different scripture references that I could give you right now.....of being required to ask so that we can receive, of Him knowing every hair on our heads and genuinely loving us, of God setting the lonely in families, of Him requiring our faith to only match the size of a mustard seed.....but the only one, over and over in my head is this one......"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Matthew 21:22. Does that mean that when Jake bought his lottery ticket yesterday and he said "God, I can do SO much good with this money....." does that mean that God will make all 6 numbers match? Nope. For us, and for so many families, that means that when in Gods will, every penny of what you need to fund your adoption, will show up just in time. It means that even the super crappy parts of adoption, are necessary parts, that He is using to work for our good.
We closed our Kubnick Family Adoption Auction on Friday, March 15th.The auction made $1778!!!! Our goal was $2500. In the days following the auction, we were overwhelmed with blessings.....overwhelmed with people facebooking or texting saying "I feel led to give". As of this week, once we collect everything for the auction, we will have met our fundraising goal of $26,000.00. Correction.....God met the fundraising goal of $26,000.00. And just in time......
On Friday, our dossier was officially submitted to the SDA (the adoption authority in Ukraine). We should have either an appointment date, or a "you need to fix this paperwork" notification, within 20 business days of Friday. We are praising God for the appointment date :)
We cannot say thank you enough to the families and individuals that have been obedient to God in donating goods, writing us checks, loving our kids, praying us through, checking on us, and so many other things. Please know that your obedience has been our miracle. We are humbled that you all want to walk this journey with us......and blessed to know that we are bringing children into a "family" that will love, encourage, and nurture them....just as you do for us.
Thank you.....for helping us bust this thermometer wide open!
"Commit to the Lord, whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3
And through the journey, God has broken those thoughts of "we are relieved to find that the fees would be less" down into "if I call you, I will provide". He has been faithful to His promises. There are about 30 different scripture references that I could give you right now.....of being required to ask so that we can receive, of Him knowing every hair on our heads and genuinely loving us, of God setting the lonely in families, of Him requiring our faith to only match the size of a mustard seed.....but the only one, over and over in my head is this one......"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Matthew 21:22. Does that mean that when Jake bought his lottery ticket yesterday and he said "God, I can do SO much good with this money....." does that mean that God will make all 6 numbers match? Nope. For us, and for so many families, that means that when in Gods will, every penny of what you need to fund your adoption, will show up just in time. It means that even the super crappy parts of adoption, are necessary parts, that He is using to work for our good.
We closed our Kubnick Family Adoption Auction on Friday, March 15th.The auction made $1778!!!! Our goal was $2500. In the days following the auction, we were overwhelmed with blessings.....overwhelmed with people facebooking or texting saying "I feel led to give". As of this week, once we collect everything for the auction, we will have met our fundraising goal of $26,000.00. Correction.....God met the fundraising goal of $26,000.00. And just in time......
On Friday, our dossier was officially submitted to the SDA (the adoption authority in Ukraine). We should have either an appointment date, or a "you need to fix this paperwork" notification, within 20 business days of Friday. We are praising God for the appointment date :)
We cannot say thank you enough to the families and individuals that have been obedient to God in donating goods, writing us checks, loving our kids, praying us through, checking on us, and so many other things. Please know that your obedience has been our miracle. We are humbled that you all want to walk this journey with us......and blessed to know that we are bringing children into a "family" that will love, encourage, and nurture them....just as you do for us.
Thank you.....for helping us bust this thermometer wide open!
"Commit to the Lord, whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3
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