Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Deep in the thick of Crazy

It's been a while since I updated about the Kubnicks......and since then we have found ourselves completely submerged deep in the thick of crazy.  Lucky for us, we have several friends that 1 - remind us of how much deeper our crazy will get once our kiddos are home and 2 - do an amazing job distracting us long enough for us to think we've slept in the last month. BOTH of these groups of friends are amazing and without this support system that God has put in place for us, crazy would seem like psychotic. Meds I can do....asylum? Well, I just don't look good in white ;)

As of this week, and after a few delays (i.e. my very own paperwork error), the Kubnicks are officially submitted to immigration!  What does that mean?  It means that we are one step closer to Ukraine. It means that we are in a period of waiting. It means that while we wait (for up to 90 days) we fund raise!  Turns out, this adoption thing is pretty expensive! There's this "rage against the machine" part of me that wants to say "how can you possibly put a price tag on a life"?  But the harsh reality of it is, there is a price tag. BUT the amazing thing about God is this.....the price tag doesn't matter!  We have full faith that God is going to meet us every single penny of the way through this adoption. Does that mean that we have to stay up a little later painting signs with big red anchors? It does.  Does that mean that when I lose a few pounds (totally stress related. I have no idea what exercise means anymore.) that I don't get to go buy a bunch of new clothes? It does. It also means that as a family, we are making a commitment to be Jesus' hands and feet. It means that as parents, we are giving Cole and Zella a firm and Biblical foundation to stand on by saying WE ARE SECOND. It means, that at the end of all of this, our family will be bigger, our home will contain more laughter, our hearts will be even more full than we imagined, and our faith will be much greater than when we started and children that were once abandoned, will learn that Jesus will never ever leave them. Suddenly, the price tag is seemingly insignificant.  So we'll sell what we have. We'll yard sale until there's nothing left to yard sell.  We will pray circles and more circles around Jericho until the walls come down and the bill is paid. Because He did the same for us. He relentlessly pursued us, paying the ultimate price to redeem us, no matter how many times we tried to stop Him. And when we couldn't fight anymore, He adopted us into His family. And He loved us through our temper tantrums and hissy fits and frequent bouts of selfishness.  And then He called us to do the same. We say "yes". 

And in saying "yes", we have been overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed by His unbelievably creative ways of meeting us.  Small example:  last week, we had to write a substantial check for the adoption.  We weren't quite biting our nails, but were aware that this week, another substantial check would need to be written and that just wasn't there.  We wrote the check on Thursday of last week. On Thursday of last week, Jake got a bonus tacked onto his pay check from the Dept. of Defense. If you work for the government, you will know that they don't just GIVE money away. But there it was.....that bonus, plus a random, generous gift from a sweet friend, equaled every single penny that we needed to send to immigration this week. There are about a million other blessings that we've just be swept away by in these last few weeks....but not enough space in the blog to list them. In our small faith, He made a HUGE point to yell at us, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4  Its amazing what can happen when the desires of our hearts, match His desires for us. 

So we're fund raising. We've got just about everything you can imagine for sale. A Harley, a dining room table and hutch, hand painted signs, commercial grade fitness equipment, clothes, shoes, a cradle, small random furniture, bracelets, Scentsy.......no lie, if its not breathing, I'll sell it to you! And every night as soon as the kids go to bed I rush rush rush around trying to do all the Mom things I need to do plus all of the extra stuff like painting signs and pricing yard sale items. And its easy to forget the things that I hold close to my heart.......and this last week, in the craziness, I was reminded.

I am blessed to have a husband that is as crazy as I am. I am blessed to have a husband that will pray for our family, that will break down to God for our family, that we can trust as he leads us in Gods will.  I am beyond blessed to have a husband with an incredible work ethic. Blessed to have a husband that has never in his life done anything half way. Blessed that he already loves our child/children in Ukraine SO much that he's learning Russian (thank you, Rosetta Stone) in an effort to understand Ukrainian a little better. And he's really really handsome. So that's HUGE!

When Zella was sick for the first year of her life we spent countless hours rocking. She was only a few months old when we started praying for my friend that was a nurse in Uganda and foster Mom to a set of very sick twins. In the wee hours of the morning, with her on my chest, I would cry out to God for these babies, and so many others that God was breaking my heart for. And we would sing "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound....."  We still sing to Zella every night. We don't know when or if we will have another infant, so we are holding on to her as long as we can. But its been a while since she didn't request "Wheels on the Bus" or "Jesus Loves Me".  But tonight as I laid her down she demanded "Grace! Sing Grace!".  In my best effort to fight back the tears, we sang it together. As I was leaving she yelled out "Deep as the Yocean, Mommy!"  And I'm reminded of the hard hard hard times that I have spent with this beautiful little girl........and that one moment, made it all worth it.

And then there's Cole. Oh Cole. First of all, he told my Mom this weekend that I'm really smart. So he's my favorite now ;) Second of all, everywhere we go, he talks adoption. And it makes me grin ear to ear. He struck up a conversation with a lady at Walgreens on Sunday by saying "we're saving money for an adoption!"  Kid never meets a stranger. I got a text from our babysitter the night of the wedding saying that she was touched by his prayer at dinner time.  So that means he actually prayed on his own, without being prompted, at dinner! And it obviously didn't include any of the way too often used bodily function words that he's so fond of these days!  And tonight.....when I tucked him in he asked if I would lay with him and sing him a song. When I left the room he said "I'll miss you, Mommy. Love you as deep as the ocean!"  You got me, Cole. I just completely forgot that you got in trouble at school today. And I will keep on forgetting as long as your heart keeps getting bigger and bigger.

Over the weekend, one of my bestest girls got married and I was blessed to be a part of the wedding party. First of all, it was beautiful. There is no place like the Lowcountry and this wedding did everything possible to highlight this life we love so much.  And I just kinda really love weddings - a lot.  But so standing in front of the church, listening to the pastor talk about  marriage, and about how the opposite of love is selfishness, I couldn't help but look at how far Jake and I have come together. I looked back to meet his eyes in the church and he was right there with me. And that night we danced and it was like that first night on our blind date. I just melted in his arms.....and he held me up.  And I'm reminded that my first job is as a Christian, and my second is as a wife. Not Mom. Wife.  And the rewards are immeasurable.  He's also still very very handsome :)


Soooooooo, yard sale!!!!! 91 Heritage Parkway, Bluffton......Saturday, Oct. 6, 8am-12pm.  OR mckenzeekubnick.scentsy.us  OR check my facebook for handpainted signs and bracelets OR message me if you're in the market for a Harley or dining room set :)  I officially have no shame.

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