While we're waiting......

First off, a little nugget of completely useless information for you.....the Christian singer/song writer John Waller sings this awesome song called "While I'm Waiting".  The song talks about serving, praising and praying while waiting on the Lord to complete His work. In February of this year, John and his family completed a Ukrainian adoption of siblings......when he sings this song, I know - he TOTALLY gets what it means to wait.  Bet you feel smarter now.

So the waiting.....the waiting has NOT at all been easy. We've been waiting for what feels like an eternity to get to Ukraine. On March 22, our dossier was officially submitted to the SDA in Ukraine for review. The next step is they give us an appointment date......and then we go! In the meantime, Jake and I have been worked, HARD, by the devil and God. We have both literally felt like cartoon characters with a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.  And through this time, while we are waiting, we have been reminded of so many things.....and I thought that maybe, as you walk through your day, or your storm, that maybe you need a few reminders too.

1. NOTHING is wasted by God. There isn't a single tear, or laugh, or cry, that He doesn't cherish and intend to use.  Feeling sorry for yourself because of the way you grew up or because your dad left or your mom is insensitive or because you're the black sheep? He wants to use it. He wants to show you that when He says He has a plan.......He has a plan. He wants you to see that for those that love Him, ALL things are being worked together for your good. If you know me and Jake, and any part of either of our stories, we are walking and breathing examples of His undying, full of grace, relentless, pursuing, rescuing, freeing, chain breaking, merciful, breathtaking, blood soaked love for us. And now that we can see how only a few of the pieces fit together......we can see only the part of Gods plan that has already passed, He has proved to us that His plan is ALWAYS better.  Know that wherever you are today, He wants to use it. Stop wallowing. Ask God to show you how to turn your suffering into an offering. And then be ready.....He WILL use you, if you say "yes".

2.  God fully intends to stretch us. Waiting is hard, yes. And its necessary. If we had completed our adoption process in 6 months, this blog right now would be begging for someone to come rescue me from these kids that I can't control.  Asking God to bring us closer to Him requires change...and it requires a casting off of things that are old. And that is super painful. I was reminded last night of this comment "a large majority of the issues that we have with our kids, stems from our own selfishness." The Refiners fire is HOT.  But this waiting period has been stuffed full of conviction for us. FULL OF CONVICTION. Like, the kind where you don't wanna get out of bed because your heart is tired from working so hard.  Every day God is revealing situations or relationships, attitudes or tones of voice, habits or lack of habits to both of us.  It can feel overwhelming and the devil will sit on your shoulder and say "what kind of Father would repeatedly show you what you're doing wrong? He doesn't love you!" and because DARKNESS WILL ALWAYS LOSE OUT TO LIGHT, I am reminded by the angel on the other shoulder......"This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord, 'Go down to the potters house, and there I will give you my message'. So I went down to the potters house and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred from his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. Then the word of the Lord came to me. He said 'can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?' declares the Lord. 'Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand'." Jeremiah 18:1-6  We are clay in the same hands that shaped the universe, formed the stars and counted the hairs on our heads. Stretch us. Convict us. Mold us. While we are waiting.....prepare us.

3. This morning, my baby girl didn't want to go to daycare. Kids can sense stuff. She knows change is coming. So does Cole. They really have no concept of time.....but in their little hearts, God is preparing them, just as He is preparing us. And as I was driving to work this morning with the sounds of Zellas cries for me haunting me.....I felt like God was saying to me "ENJOY the wait. BE STILL. I have given you this time to revel in your family now. You will never again be a family of 4. Stop. Hold your kids. Stop always anticipating tomorrow, and just be thankful for the nothingness of today."  We've been CRAZY busy for a year. A year. God knows what we need. He knows we need time. He knows we need to breathe Him in before we can truly breathe Him out. If we can't sit still at His feet, and bask in everything that He is offering us, can we really bring our children, broken and hurting, to a place where they too will be able to truly rest in His promises?  No. We can't. We are just ambassadors. We are just vessels. We are facilitators to the healing that our Ukrainian children will have to go through and assistants for the struggles that Cole and Zella will endure as a result of this adoption. We know, that the healing will come from the Great Physician. We know that He will infiltrate their lives just as He has ours........but we have to show them. God has offered us this time of waiting and rest, to prepare our hearts for SHOWING these children what it means to love Jesus. And we show them by trusting His every single promise. He will restore. He knows every need. His love is more vast than our minds can process. He mends the broken hearted. He breaks the chains. He heals. He comforts. We have to believe it before they will be able to see it. So for now, while we're waiting.....we rest in Him.

This got kind of long......I could go on for a few more hours about the lessons God is teaching us every day. The three above are just from the last 24 hours!

But here's the deal......it's coming. A travel date is coming soon. My prayer is that my next update will read ....... "Ukraine or Bust!" 

Happy Monday!