Where We Are

I am going to try my very hardest to not bore you with adoption process details. There are procedures and form numbers and yada yada yada that truly just don't matter. Here's the basic breakdown......we've had some setbacks. We had a few things with our immigration paperwork that that had to be corrected before we were able to get our final approval letter.  We made those corrections and received our immigration approval letter on Dec. 31. Praise God!  We are currently collecting the last few documents for our dossier and our prayer/plan/goal is to have our dossier in Ukraine at the latest, Feb. 1.  Now let me backtrack......

We are members of a group called FRUA (Families for Russian & Ukrainian Adoption). For a week about two weeks before Christmas I had been following the news threads on our FRUA boards about Putin putting a ban on Americans being able to adopt from Russia. When I read the first story I immediately had a flashback to our second visit with our social worker. We're gonna call her "J". "J" has been advocating for orphans since before I was born. She sits on more boards in the state of SC then I knew existed. She rubs elbows, knees, heads and shoulders with politicians on a weekly basis and then plays golf with their wives every other Saturday. She's the authority on all things adoption in our book. And I remember her sitting at our breakfast table and we asked her "what are the chances of Ukraine closing?" and she said "you really don't have much to worry about in Eastern Europe, unless Russia closes. If they close, everyone should be worried because the smaller countries will often do what Russia does, just to avoid the conflict."  Jake and I tried not to talk about it. We walked around with this awful hypothetical scenario sitting on our shoulders through the entire holiday. I sat one night in the living room with just the Christmas lights on and just stared at the extra stocking hanging all alone. Jake brought it home about a month before Christmas and hung it with such care, right next to Cole and Zellas. And I couldn't help but cry. I was so confused. Why would God call us to a country, and plant a seed way way way deep down in me, if that's not the place for us?  We distracted ourselves through Christmas and truly enjoyed our kids. Have I mentioned that we have AWESOME kids? Not sure if I've ever mentioned that before ;) 

The day after Christmas we had dinner at my Dad's house with all of his side of the family. I was talking to my Aunt and she asked the question that so many people before her had asked "well if Ukraine closes, why not just choose another country?"   Jake and I had talked about it......and we couldn't imagine our hearts or our children, being anywhere but Ukraine. So we just prayed. We kept praying. First, we prayed for Putin. The law to ban adoptions flew through upper and lower parliament and made it to Putin two days after Christmas. He signed the bill. And my heart sank. I kept praying "God, if Ukraine isn't the place, close the door quickly. My heart can't do this much longer."  I read article after article on the Russian ban. Time and time again my heart broke for an entire nation of children whose options for a family just got limited.....because they were political pawns.  We prayed as a family. We spent an immense amount of time in the truck (thanks VA traffic) and  the prayer always ended as, "God, if Ukraine is where our child or children are, keep the door open. Get us there quickly."  Every day I stalked the international papers. STILL NO STATEMENT FROM UKRAINE.  Our entire week in VA was spent going back and forth. What do we do? Do we move forward with Ukraine, knowing the risks? Or do we stop and pray and pick somewhere else?  We prayed and prayed for breakthrough. One day, I got this FB message from a friend that I literally just met that has just started the adoption process with Ukraine...."Right after the Israelites believed God would use Moses to deliver them, Pharaoh refused to let them go., doubled their work load and took away their straw to make bricks. Things didn't get better, they got worse. Even Moses lost his belief, 'Then Moses turned to the Lord and said, "O Lord, why have you done this evil to this people? Why did you ever send me? For since I came to Pharaoh to speak in your  name, he has done evil to this people, and you have not delivered your people at all." (Exodus 5:22-23 ESV) In the end, God does deliver them, but not immediately, and NOT the way that they thought He would." She was reminding me that blind faith in Gods promises includes faith in His timing. That He may have us take a more circuitous route to reach our destination, because the journey He has us on is required to get closer to Him. In the end, the route may be different but the destination is the same.  Thank you, Lord, for friends that love You and obey yYou when You tell them to share Your word. I read that out loud to Jake and we were both in tears. People we've never met, encouraging us, praying for us, and reminding us of Gods promises......giving us peace, by giving us Gods word.  Ah-mazing.

Three days later, on Dec. 31, our sweet friend checked our mail box and called my cell phone. He was nervous sounding and breathing really heavy and I could hear paper crumpling in the background and it hit me.....he was holding our immigration paperwork. He read it word for word to me.....approved. for up to 2 children. from ukraine. That was our confirmation. We decided that day that we didn't need a statement from the president.....we had our statement from the King.  We would move forward with Ukraine.  And on our drive home......God told both of us what His intentions were for our family.  We chose to move forward, regardless of the risk. God called us to Ukraine. He will see that His work is completed.

On Jan. 5, Ukraine made a statement. I had left a very chaotic Kubnick house to run to the grocery store before the Packer game started. I sat in the quiet in my car for a minute in the parking lot.....cause that's what Moms do when they are alone in the car. They sit in parking lots and just listen to the quiet in the car. There were at least 4 other women in the parking lot doing this at the same time as me. Anyways, God just kinda nudged me and told me to check my phone. And there it was.  Ukraines president, in an interview on Jan. 5 said that he does not believe that children or their care should ever be politicized. That he believes that the welfare of the child should always come first. And Ukraine will remain open.  I was standing on the canned vegetable aisle crying. I was trying to call Jake and texting everyone and posting on FB and yes, I was that lady in the store crying and I didn't care. We move forward with Ukraine. Thank you, God.

As I've been reading more and more updates on the Russian ban, while Ukraine remains open for now, my heart still breaks for the hundreds of thousands and children in Russia......and for the 46 American families that have already met their Russian children, bonded with them, decorated rooms for them, made travel plans to bring them home. My heart breaks for all 46 of those American mothers tonight with hearts in Russia. Please don't stop praying for these families. Please don't stop praying for Russia's children. The problem is so big, prayer is the only viable weapon any of us has against this orphan epidemic.

So tonight.....that's where we are. Still covered under and umbrella of grace. Still blessed. Still those crazy people in the car that from the outside look like they're talking to themselves but really we're praying. Still going to Ukraine. SOON.