I've been thinking about this all day....the dishes are done, the muffins are baked, the angels are sleeping, and the hubby is at work (and I'm sure he's super appreciative that he's being spared this ear full), soooooo, we blog about it!!!
Someone told me today that it's not good for me to immerse myself in my husband and my kids. That I will lose who I am. That I shouldn't define myself by my family.
I am a wife. It's not a title. It's a role. It's a job. It's a PRIVILEGE. It's an HONOR. It's a BLESSING. Jake and I have been married just over 7 years. Our marriage has gone from new and "get a room"ish to rocky to "rocks getting ground up in the tires of a semi" rocky and all the way to refreshed, renewed and restored. God has shown Jake and myself what a partnership looks like. He's laid it all out for us....and we are trying, and failing daily but still trying to follow the blueprint. And it's working. WE ARE HAPPY. When I was talking to this person today they said "well you know the housework should be a joint effort". The first words that came to my mind were "you have a maid, shutup" but instead I just smiled and nodded. If my husband is at work from 6am to 3pm and then at school from 5pm to 10pm and then back to work the next morning to do it all again, and the only thing he asks is that the house is tidy when he gets home, that's not going to kill me, and it's going to make him happy. So what's the big deal? So I get to eat a few less bonbons and watch a few less tv shows that I don't need to watch anyways.....is that hurting something? Am I losing sight of who I am by taking care of a man that takes care of me? Oh I'm getting all worked up now.......
I am a mother. It is a GIFT. I don't see how a mother could ever possibly lose herself by taking care of her kids. Our children are a direct reflection of who we are. They are a cultivation of everything that we love and hate with just enough uniqueness mixed in that they are their own person. I have beaten myself up for years. Years and years and years. About not finishing school. I'm too smart for this, I have talent, there's no excuse, working mothers do this every single day. And FINALLY I let it go. Because there is no school on the earth that could teach what these kids have. There's no career that could have opened my heart so big for my own children that I feel passionate about saving the ones that don't have anyone. There's no possible way that I could have "found myself" anywhere but in this place. In this right now where I am all of the things that I'm good at. I'm a nurturer. I'm a nurse. I'm a cook. I'm a tutor. I'm an English teacher. I'm a writer. I'm a soother. I'm a singer. I'm an organizer. I'm a planner. I'm a comedian. I'm a snuggler and a hand holder. THIS IS THE GREATEST JOB ON EARTH. And I do get paid. I get paid when Jake asks Cole, "Cole what do you want for your birthday?" and Cole says, "I want a big boy Bible". I get paid when my son asks me to please tell him more stories about Jesus. I get paid every time Cole and Zella laugh until I start to panick with wondering if they're breathing. I get paid every time Zella squeels with delight and wraps her arms around my neck and says "I wub wu". I get paid every time I watch Jake piggy back them to their beds at night. I get paid every single morning, when they wake me up with a smile and an I love you. I AM RICH.
So here's to all the haters. All you haters that laugh when I say my dream is to stay at home with my kids and take care of my family instead of wasting my time at a job with no return value, you can have your sucky meaningless job. I'll take my husband, my kids and my big hairy dog any single day of the week. Why? Because my investment is in people. People that will change the world because someone cared. My life is not about ME.....and I am more than okay with that :)
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