Tuesday, November 26, 2013

A Day of Firsts.....

To my sweet friends that so delicately reminded me on the last post that David hadn't been added to the blog.....please note young Davids picture is now on the blog :)

We have been home for almost 2 months now. We have had some good days and some bad days and some "meh" days in between. Every day brings something old and something new. Sometimes a few steps forward and sometimes a few steps back. But we are still stepping. And that's what counts in this house.

David. Oh little David. Can I tell you that David is SMART? I'm not saying "smart" like when your baby rolls over or crawls a little early and you swoon "he's so smart". I'm not talking about counting to 5 a gazillion times and then your 2 your old counting to 5 after you kind of smart either. I'm talking about been home less than 2 months and has a ridiculous understanding of English and an expansive vocabulary under his belt. We went to the pediatrician last week for the nasty of all nasty coughs and he started chuckling at David talking to him......partly because he does very much sound like the Count from Sesame Street and partly because doc was blown away by Davids progress. He can count to 20 in English now. We spent countless hours in the orphanage learning ABC's and identifying them. I thought certainly he would forget. He didn't. He's got colors and body parts down too. He's a sponge.

Having said that.......he is SUPER strong willed. We know what he's capable of. He has shown us how smart he is. But there are days when he literally refuses to speak. He shuts down and clams up. We will ask him a question and he will just stare at us and we will say "are you going to use words?" and straight faced he will say "nope!". Well, alright then. Yesterday was day two of his not speaking protest. How can we fix it if he won't speak? So last night, Jake and I had a little chat with David. We decided to use a reward instead of threatening to take something away. Here's how the conversation went:
Jake - does David need something?
David - yessir.
Jake - what does David need?
David - Daddy hug me.
Jake - is that all? What else does David want?
David- Daddy pick me up, put in bed.
Jake - Ok, Does David need something from Mommy?
David - Yes. Mommy pray for me.

People. I'm teary eyed writing this. At the time it didn't hit me. It did after he was in bed and sleeping soundly with a smile on his face, but today it has hit even harder. Two days he refused to speak to us. TWO DAYS. And a hug and a prayer fixed it. A hug and a prayer.

Last night I was talking to a friend that said the hardest thing about adoption, if she were to adopt, would be the unknown. I agree. We face it every single day. The first two and a half years of Davids life are unknown. His medical history is unknown. His triggers are unknown. We are learning day by day and piece by piece to the puzzle that his life at the orphanage was not the fairytale that they painted. We are realizing exactly how deep and vast the hurt is. We are learning how big the developmental delay is and trying to piece that together with the giant gaping hole in his medical records. But just imagine this........have you ever been so overwhelmed with life and emotions that you feel numb?  You have felt so many things that you literally can't feel anymore? I believe that's where David is on days when he refuses to speak. He has felt oppressed most of his life. He has had food withheld and been beaten and slept for days in his own waste and been attacked in his sleep and has spent months upon months in a hospital. On days when David shuts down.....he's responding. His body is defending itself. He's coping. He literally cannot stand to feel anymore.  But he just needs a hug. And a prayer. And the numbness will fade.

This morning David went to speech therapy with Jake. He came home bouncy and full of energy. Usually therapy days are BAD because he's overstimulated and exhausted. Not today. Today, David was riding on a hug and prayer. And we had a huge day of firsts. Today, for the first time in two months, after ignoring our prompting for 2 months, David:
 - spoke loudly and clearly all day long. No whining! No whispering!
 - He was playing upstairs and came all the way downstairs and said "mommy please blow my nose".
 - while we were out today, he told me he was hungry. He has NEVER asked me for food. Ever.
 - While eating dinner, he said "mommy, drink all gone. more drink please"
 - when he finished dinner, he asked for more! He has NEVER EVER asked for food!
 - he burped during dinner and completely on his own said "excuse me I burped"
 - he specifically asked for a certain type of food (that was out of sight)...."mommy, please have grapes?"
- I was walking up the stairs tonight and he said "where are you going, mama?"
 - Jake and I have joked that David utilizes about 1/24th of his twin size bed. He would only move about a 1/4 inch every  night. Tonight, he is sprawled out across the bed, sideways. He's FINALLY comfortable.

I could go on for days, but seriously, who is this kid?!!!!!  I have been absolutely blown away by his speech and actions today!!!!!

I am thankful for the joy in Davids voice today. That's a joy we haven't seen in quite some time. And its refreshing. Its refreshing to hear his joy, when it hurts me to know just a fraction of his pain.

I have SO much more to say.......but tonight, I'm stopping it at this........

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever. Psalm 107:1